I do have several exciting posts queued up (I’ve actually made stuff!), but it’s been hard to sit down and compile pictures and write at night (I’d rather make more stuff…). I’ve been tired after putting Lydia to bed.

Tonight, though, I’m just going to share a bit of a “personal struggle” I’ve faced recently (yesterday).

I hate housework. I’m not sure why I thought being a housewife was the job for me. But here I am, a stay-at-home mom (and housewife), in charge of maintaining my household. Since Lydia’s birth, I’ve slacked off (more than I did before). My excuses of “Lydia will only nap with me” or “it’s too hard to keep up” are very lame (even though true). Now that it has been over six months, I really have no excuse. But, instead of toughening up and taking charge, I have been trying to convince my husband to let me hire a cleaning service. “Just to catch up.”

And then yesterday I was convicted of how terrible this is of me. Not only have I expected my husband to be understanding during these past few months, but now I’m asking him to spend hard-earned money to pay someone else to do my job! I’m ashamed to say I still want to cheat this way. After all, it’s not that expensive… But this is MY job, MY house, MY responsibility. I get to stay home and raise my daughter. I am so concerned about being frugal that I’ll be upset if I miss a 10% off coupon for a $5.00 item. How can I even think that I need someone else to do my job.

Sure, it’s just one time, to catch me up. But if they can clean my house in two hours, why can’t I? I have all day, every day most of the day free to accomplish the tasks I agreed to take on when we got married. My goal (and commitment to my husband) is to clean one room everyday. Cleaning the downstairs pocket bathroom felt so good. Sure it’s small, but it is spotless. I can do this. I have to do this.

I bought an ERGO Baby Carrier (for a steal of a deal!) to carry Lydia around in a backpack (yay, free hands!) because she has been so clingy lately I haven’t been able to put her down for more than 20 minutes at a time. I’m excited to fulfill duty to my husband. Even when we were first married I didn’t do a good job keeping up the house. With however many years we have left, I need to get this under control and in practice now (before there are many more little ones that don’t want to be put down). Why would I want to pay someone $100 every other week for the rest of my life? Exactly, I don’t.

So, with little steps, I’m learning to become a good housewife. A little late in the game, but there’s still time to fix bad habits. And with that, I’ll attack the tower of dishes on my counter… tomorrow.

Thanks for reading my confession. Please keep me accountable (by coming over unannounced). Though not for a week or two.

~jf